Audio and Digital-Photo Highlights of the July 26 1998 Jimmy's Meeting
Introductory Page

The shy and diffident lurker reveals himself in a public poetic performance!!!


CLICK HERE FOR THE VERSION OF
THIS PAGE THAT HAS AN AUDIO RECORDING OF TUSHAR READING THIS
POEM. Once you get to that page, you may need to hit the
"Reload" button once or twice to properly activate the audio
feature. Then you'll laff!!!

GAGGED AND BOUND

Here I sit down, broken hearted
trying to push a yet unstarted
poem into bright creation.
Ah the pains of constipation!

Hours have passed, I've merely parted
rump cheeks and effetely farted!
Those weak blasts of air excluded,
nothing concrete has extruded!

Other assholes far more shitten,
in their time have poems written.
Am I such a fucked up nerd
that can't shit a single turd?

As I sit disgorging vapour,
my pen rests on toilet paper
spreading ink out from its tip.
Now the fragile sheets will rip

and create a sphinctral fissure
which the pen, with lightest pressure,
will advance through, triumphally,
deepening my melancholy!

Save me lord from writers's clog!
Spare me this cramped stinky bog!
This unending waiting on
a clammy bum-unfriendly john!

No! I cannot sit and mope!
Yes! I'll sit, with rumbling hope
to my tum a glow imparting,
wishing crapping, faintly farting,

till my muse gets off her butt
and proceeds to ease my gut!
Then will plop a finely worded
poem, goldenly bemerded,

in a blaze of spice, and fury
of the evening's hot tandoori
chicken -- and in one grand motion
I'll have spewed my gut-emotion!

Let me sit then, spouting gas
even if, in hours that pass,
crap coats brain and blood runs shitten --
I won't rise till something's written!


-By a shy and diffident lurker, July 25, 1998


ADDENDUM:

POOP-Declamation, composed by John Peeler

What ho, Tushario! Wilst thou regale
us with thy wit, which bursts, Vesperus-like,
from 'twixt thy cheeks! O, how we long to hear
the brilliance of thy trumpet's bleat! Like to
an oliphant, whose sustenance of versev is bottled up, and then, at once, dispersed!
So do we yearn to hear thy mind's refrain
deposited, fresh, steaming, on the plain
which barren lies within us now. Will you
consent to pass another gem? Will you?



Photo by Sid.
© 1998 Sid Colton. All rights reserved;
Public humiliation is allowed!



Click here to go to the next page.

Click here to send e-mail to Sid, s220@midway.uchicago.edu !!

Click here to return to Sid's index.html page.

This page created 7/26/98 and revised 7/31/98 by Sid


This page is:

http://paris.uchicago.edu/~sid/sidpage653.html